yamanai ame da neeee

Friday, April 07, 2006

Today I am proud of myself.
Hah.

Listening to Defying Gravity,
'Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by
The rules of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes
And leap...
.
.
As someone told me lately
Everyone deserves the chance to fly
And if I'm flying solo
At least I'm flying free
To those who ground me
Take a message back from me!

Tell them how I am defying gravity
I'm flying high, defying gravity
And soon I'll match them in renown......'

Sick of playing by the rules of someone elses game..
hahah.. yes yes.
Doing things alone may not be such a bad thing afterall!
Like Elphie said, a least she's flying free.
Ain't she inspiring!
You know, I realise that although compromising is part and parcel of life,
no one should lose themselves because they are too caught up in fulfilling the wants of others.

Selfish?
I think not.

Today I have finally learnt to really do things by myself,
it wasn't easy to walk away.
But by walking away, I learnt something no one can teach me..
except myself.
I think there's no better time to learnt then now..
actually there's no best time lah.. everytime is a good time I guess.
I'm not trying to imply anything bad..
but I just feel that today I've been taught a very very good lesson.
Maybe stress brings out a few things in me I've never seen before,
independence, for one.

However, back to the down side,
walking away like that today might just carry it's consequences.
I won't know.
I don't know.
Don't really wanna know actually. Haha..
Many many thoughts were going through my mind while I was sitting there alone.
Felt so insecure and all that shit..
Felt like everyone was staring. Haha.. oh man..
But well, it's a first step...
Maybe it'll get better.
maybe.
Omg.. I'm such a loser.
so no confidence.. hai...
IF ONLY I COULD BE MORE CONFIDENT OF MYSELF.
if only.. if only....

9:06 PM